Songs-in-a-Bottle

Songs-in-a-Bottle Pete's Songs in a Bottle

prev next © plug list home prev next

What Was Wanting Was Me

if I stop and I ponder what I've done with my life and assess my achievement
sometimes I can barely bear to reflect
as I see all too clearly what the things I was told but I didn't believe meant
I dismissed them then with wilful neglect
had I but appreciated simple truth
I might not have spent and wasted precious youth
and I see all too late now altruism and love and the value of friendship
easy things to say much harder to learn
so if there's one thing I've been taught by cruel reality
through it all - what was wanting was me

I have failed in my love life, finding shallow relationships something alluring
letting loose acquaintances come then go
never choosing involvement, things of permanent worth, nothing firm or enduring
never planting seeds and helping them grow
why were all my thoughts on love so strewn and scattered ?
why did I not concentrate on things that mattered ?
now I stand in the spotlight analysing myself and my crude motivation
scrutinising my life subjectively
and brutal self-examination forces me to see
and admit - what was wanting was me

I could hide from myself and pretend all these things too abstract and abstruse
but deep down these are things that I just should have known, and there is no excuse

here am I with weeping eyes bemoaning fate
oh yes, now the lesson's learnt, but much too late

here am I as you find me, moping in these moments of self-revelation
if I could go back there's so much I'd change
so many things my aching heart regrets so bitterly
as I say - what was wanting was me, me
sadly, what was wanting was me

---